


puppy love

by himemiyaa



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, F/F, F/M, High School, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-03-30 13:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13952217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himemiyaa/pseuds/himemiyaa
Summary: Kravitz has been meaning for several months to talk to him. Ideally he’d ask him out, but no. That’s too much too soon. He just wants to talk to Taako once or twice, maybe even be friends. Taako’s intimidating, though. He’s notpopular, not in the way his sister is. There aren’t many people he hangs out with, but he’s at every party. He’s socool, in what seems like an effortless way. Not like Kravitz. Kravitz is in marching band and auditions for every play only to get cast as a background character. He’s in a shitty band with his two best friends. They’re called The Three Coffins. He doesn’t get invited to parties.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt "puppy love" from an anon! thank u anon this was really fun to write
> 
> edit: i guess this is gonna be a whole au now! thanks anon!

Taako is a show-off. He’s in Kravitz’s fourth period Home Ec class and consistently makes better food than anyone else. He’s also excellent when it comes to sewing. He’s also excellent-looking, which obviously is not a part of the class itself, but is hard to miss. He doesn’t always show up with a full face of makeup on – Kravitz doesn’t blame him for that, considering it must require waking up at like, six in the morning to do what Taako does when he goes all out – but he’s never without perfectly winged eyeliner and intricate braids. He dresses well, too, in a way that Kravitz doesn’t think _should_ work, but god damn, Taako pulls it off.

Kravitz has been meaning for several months to talk to him. Ideally he’d ask him out, but no. That’s too much too soon. He just wants to talk to Taako once or twice, maybe even be friends. Taako’s intimidating, though. He’s not _popular_ , not in the way his sister is. There aren’t many people he hangs out with, but he’s at every party. He’s so _cool_ , in what seems like an effortless way. Not like Kravitz. Kravitz is in marching band and auditions for every play only to get cast as a background character. He’s in a shitty band with his two best friends. They’re called The Three Coffins. He doesn’t get invited to parties.

Winter break is coming up and Kravitz is seated at his usual lunch table with his usual companions, Johann and Barry. Barry understands where Kravitz is coming from. Barry has an absolutely painful crush on Lup. The twins have an aura about them, especially when they’re together – which they always are at lunch, despite the fact that Lup could sit with anyone in the entire school and get along with them. A good portion of most lunchtimes is consumed by Kravitz and Barry looking longingly in their direction while Johann writes sad lyrics and occasionally sighs passive-aggressively at them.

“Can you two, just, like, fucking talk to them,” he says after one of those sighs, throwing a too-dry french fry in Barry’s direction. It hits him on the ear and he turns around, going red. Kravitz barely notices. Taako is laughing at something Lup said and it’s intoxicating.

“Nope,” Barry replies cheerfully. Barry thinks Lup is out of his league and has mostly accepted that.

“I’m going to,” Kravitz says, tearing his eyes away from their table and looking across at Johann with a determined look on his face.

“Fine,” Johann says. “Do it.”

“I will,” Kravitz says. He clenches his fists and sets his jaw. Johann raises an eyebrow at him. Kravitz blinks. “What, like… now?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t do it _now._ He’s with Lup.”

“That’s probably in your favor,” Barry chimes in. “He’s a lot nicer when he’s around Lup.”

“Yeah, but-”

“But nothing. If you don’t talk to him you’re out of the band.”

“You can’t kick me out of the band, Johann.”

“I can too.”

“Cannot.”

“Can t-”

“Oh, they’re leaving,” Barry says, watching as Lup and Taako stand up from their table. They dump what’s left of their trays in the waiting garbage bins and walk out of the lunchroom, an identical sway in their hips. Barry and Kravitz have spent a decent amount of time comparing things about them: Lup is a little bit taller than Taako and has more freckles than he does. Taako is a little plumper and speaks with more of an affectation. The way they carry themselves, though, all confidence and swagger, is matched only by each other. Kravitz exhales.

“I’ll talk to him after class today,” he says. “If I don’t do it you can kick me out of the band.”

“I can do that even without your permission,” Johann drawls, throwing a french fry in Kravitz’s direction now.

“Cannot,” Kravitz says. He picks the french fry off of his My Chemical Romance t-shirt and drops it onto his empty tray.

* * *

They have a substitute in Home Ec today, which makes Taako even more intolerable than he usually is. Kravitz thinks it’s charming. He has trouble focusing on the cookies they’re making. He keeps staring at the back of Taako’s head as if it’ll get him anywhere. Maybe he’ll develop the power to read minds and figure out how the fuck to make his approach.

He burns his cookies. His partner groans at him. He barely notices.

When the bell rings, they start to pack up their things, but Kravitz keeps an eye on Taako. He can’t let him leave without talking to him. He can’t do it. His place in the band is at stake. Kravitz swallows and hurries up to his side. Taako’s partner Ren raises an eyebrow at him and makes an expression Kravitz can’t quite read before looking up at Taako and grinning.

“I’ll see you on Saturday,” she says, and hurries away from the two of them. Taako waves as she leaves and looks up at Kravitz.

“What’s up, thug?” he asks, swinging his worn bookbag onto his shoulders. Kravitz feels petrified by Taako’s glance.

“Uh,” he starts awkwardly. “I was just… I wondered if you wanted to hang out sometime. Um. I’m Kravitz,” he says, and screams internally. This is not how he wanted this to go. This is not how he wanted this interaction to sound or look or _anything_.

“I know your name,” Taako says. He looks amused. He looks calculating.

“Oh,” Kravitz says. His face heats up. He can’t believe Taako knows his name. He can’t believe how much Taako is staring at him, prolonging this encounter, prolonging Kravitz’s concerns about what he’s going to say. Kravitz can’t read his expression, either. He stares back down at Taako, trying to work anything out.

“Yeah, we could hang,” says Taako after a long pause. “You, uh, you free Saturday night?”

Kravitz feels his legs turn to jelly. Is he being serious? “Uh, yeah, I- I’m free.”

“There’s a party at Burnsides’s. I’ll be there. Come say hi.”

“Yeah, sure, okay. Uh, where does he-”

“Gimme your phone.”

Kravitz does as he’s told and watches Taako program in his number deftly and send himself a text. When he hands it back to him, Kravitz’s heart skips a beat as he sees how he’s saved himself: taako, all lower case, with a sparkling heart emoji next to it. This is unreal. This must be a dream. He sent himself a skull emoji. What does that mean?

“I’ll text you the address,” Taako says. “Hey, you’re friends with that nerd, right? Barold?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Bring him with you,” Taako says, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face. He adjusts his bookbag. “See you there, Krav.”

Kravitz watches, absolutely dumbstruck, as Taako turns on his heel and leaves the room. In the hallway, Kravitz can see Ren and Lup waiting for him. Ren high fives him immediately and Lup laughs. He doesn’t quite know what that means, but it leaves him with high hopes.

He texts Barry and Johann:

_I’m still in the band._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! if you liked it, please consider leaving a kudos and a comment!!! they really keep me going.
> 
> also feel free to check out my tumblr [@softshelltaakos,](https://softshelltaakos.tumblr.com/) where i take ficlet requests and am always down to talk taz!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So where’s your boy?” Lup asks, scanning around. Taako’s cheeks go pink.
> 
> “He’s not my boy, it’s not even a date,” he says, although he joins her in her search.

Magnus Burnsides throws parties reasonably often. He’s a popular guy. He’s a quarterback. He’s also genuinely a nice person, so they’re pretty big affairs. They’re crowded. Taako knows most of the people at them. He has never, ever seen Kravitz or Barry (or their third friend, whose name Taako doesn’t know) there.

It should be a nice change.

He’s currently tearing things out of his closet, trying to decide what to wear while Ren and Lup sit on his bed chiding him. He throws a scarf directly at Ren’s face.

“Look, chaboy’s been waiting _all year_ -”

“That’s because you’re a loser,” Lup laughs. Taako shoots her a glare.

“ _You’ve_ been waiting since _freshman year._ ”

“ _I_ haven’t had a class with him since sophomore year. You’re a baby, I’m great, end of story.”

“You’re both nerds,” Ren says, pulling the scarf around herself and striking a pose. Ren has been Taako’s closest friend since their freshman math class. Ren has a head for that stuff. Taako doesn’t. She saved his ass more than once with last-minute tutoring. Taako scoffs.

Magnus’s party is in an hour, but Taako likes to be fashionably late to things. He’s got time. And he has even more of a need -- no, an _obligation_ \-- to look good tonight than he usually does. He has a _dude_ coming to this party for him. Admittedly the dude is a complete nerd, but he’s a very good-looking nerd. Taako wants to get this right.

“Wear the corduroy skirt,” Lup says. “With the black crop sweater.”

“And wool tights,” Ren adds. The twins both stare at her. “What? It’s going to be cold!”

“Tights don’t go with the look,” he says, although he picks up a deep red corduroy skirt at Lup’s suggestion and appraises it. He’s pretty sure he stole it from her, actually.

“You don’t know what the look _is_ yet, they could go with the look.”

“You just don’t understand style, Ren,” Taako sighs. “You’d think you’d get it by now, but-”

“Tacky lesbian fashion means I can do what I want,” she says with a shrug. Taako rolls his eyes, but he can’t deny it. He pulls the skirt on over his leggings and then pulls the leggings down, kicking them to the side.

“The turtleneck or the v-neck?” he asks.

* * *

There’s snow sticking to the ground as Taako clambers out of Ren’s car and hurries towards Magnus’s front door, shivering despite his faux-fur coat. He gets no sympathy from his best friend. “You should’ve worn the tights,” Ren calls.

“Fuck you,” Taako replies, slipping into the house before either Lup or Ren are halfway across the yard. He hovers by the door to wait for them, though, rubbing his hands up and down his arms and feeling barely anything through his coat. Lup comes in, looking considerably more comfortable in her letterman jacket and jeans, followed by Ren, who’s dressed more sensibly than either of them in a puffy coat Taako told her not to buy.

“So where’s your boy?” Lup asks, scanning around. Taako’s cheeks go pink.

“He’s not my boy, it’s not even a date,” he says, although he joins her in her search.

It’s Ren who sees Kravitz -- who did indeed bring Barry Bluejeans -- first, and she intertwines her arms with Lup and Taako and starts pulling them in that direction. Lup blinks.

“Taako, why is Barry here,” she hisses. Taako tries to whistle innocently, but considering that he can’t so much whistle, fails. The two of them have been drawn into conversation by Magnus himself, who seems thrilled to see them. Taako grins. He can see the two nerds trying to do the arithmetic in their brains: _how does Magnus Burnsides know my name?_

“So anyway, yeah, make yourself at home,” Magnus is saying as the three of them walk up. “Just don’t break my shit, you know how it is. Oh, fuck, Lup!”

“Magnuuuus!” Lup breaks away from Ren to launch herself at Magnus, wrapping him in a hug.

“You saw each other _yesterday_ ,” Taako complains, rolling his eyes as he stops in front of Barry and Kravitz. “‘Sup, nerds.”

“Some of us have the decency to miss our friends when we’re apart,” Lup says, reaching onto her tiptoes to ruffle Magnus’s hair.

“Uh, hey, Taako,” Barry says, although his eyes are on Lup. He seems starstruck to be this close to her. Taako can’t blame him. Lup is the best.

“Hi,” Kravitz says sheepishly. He looks out of his element here, generally overwhelmed. Underneath the black wool peacoat that he for some reason hasn’t taken off, he’s wearing a black button-up and a dark golden vest. He’s distinctly overdressed. Taako finds it charming.

“You wanna get a drink?” Taako asks with a lazy grin.

“Oh, I don’t really- I drove, and uh, I had to bring my little brother, so…”

Taako raises an eyebrow. “You brought your little brother. How little are we talking?”

Kravitz stares at Taako, somewhat dumbfounded. “Uh, he’s… he’s fourteen. It’s… Angus. You tutor him.”

“What,” Taako says, blinking rapidly. “The fuck. Ango’s your brother?”

“Yeah,” Kravitz says with a nervous laugh.

“You brought Ango here?”

“I, uh, I was supposed to babysit.”

“He’s fourteen, why does he need a babysitter.”

“Excellent question, sir!” pipes up a voice from behind him. Taako turns around to see Angus McDonald, indeed standing there, holding two cans of soda. He offers one to Kravitz, who takes it, looking embarrassed.

“Now, Ango,” Taako says, shooting a look over at Lup, who’s talking to Barry and Magnus now and doesn’t seem to notice him. Taako frowns and looks back at Angus. “You gonna be cool about this whole thing? I know you’re a goody two shoes.”

“Oh, I won’t tell,” Angus says, grinning broadly. “Kravitz made me a deal I couldn’t refuse. Besides, it’d be awful mean of me to-”

“Aaand that’s enough,” Kravitz says, throwing an arm around Angus’s shoulder and pulling him close in a side hug.

“A deal, huh,” Taako says. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t irritated to have Angus tagging along after his not-date, but so it goes. At least he likes Angus (loathe though he would be to admit that to the kid.) Angus giggles and steps away from Kravitz.

“It’s fine, though, I won’t bother you,” he chirps, shooting a knowing look up at his brother. “I brought a book. Just let me know when you’re ready to leave, Kravitz!”

“Right right right,” Kravitz replies hurriedly. He opens his coke and takes a quick drink, only to come out of it with his eyes watering. Too much too fast, Taako guesses. Taako snickers.

“Come with me,” Taako says, nodding his head towards a mostly unoccupied couch. Kravitz glances at Angus and then at Barry, then nods as Taako’s already starting to walk away. He has to hurry to keep up with him -- despite Taako’s short legs, he weaves his way through the crowd easily, while Kravitz keeps bumping into people and apologizing profusely. When he reaches the couch Taako has already sunk down into its cushions and is slipping his coat off. Kravitz sits down next to him and awkwardly removes his own. “So,” Taako says, still grinning lazily.

“Uh,” Kravitz says.

“Tell me about yourself,” Taako says. Kravitz looks apprehensive. Taako thinks it’s cute. He likes when he can make a boy nervous. “Like, what do you do for fun.”

Kravitz grimaces lightly. “I’m, uh, in a band. Me and Barry and Johann.”

“No shit,” Taako says with a grin. “Wait, wait, let me guess. You play bass.”

“I play- I play whatever I need to,” Kravitz says. There’s something like pride burgeoning on his face, although he still looks uncomfortable. Taako feels like a sphynx issuing riddles.

“Oh, yeah?” Taako says, raising an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

“Well,” he says. “I play piano, guitar, flute, trombone, and, uh. Harp.”

Taako stares. “That’s too many things. What the fuck.” Kravitz looks immediately put out, so Taako shakes his head. “No, just, like. That’s, uh, uh...” and he hesitates for a long moment. Compliments aren’t really Taako’s style, but sometimes you have to bite a bullet, particularly when it comes to flirting. “Impressive,” he says with a wink.

“Oh,” Kravitz replies. He smiles nervously.

“What are you guys called?”

“The, uh. The Three Coffins.”

Taako lets out a peal of high-pitched laughter. “That’s, uh, that’s fuckin’ beautiful, my man.”

“Oh. Thank you?”

Taako and Kravitz chat for a while before Kravitz decides he needs to check on his brother. Taako stands up with him. It’s not hard to find Angus -- he’s literally holed up in a corner with a Caleb Cleveland novel. “Oh, hi, Kravitz! Hi, Taako!” he says when they approach. Taako doesn’t get how he can be so chipper all the time. It’s buck wild.

“Hey, Djangus,” Taako says. He has his coat slung over his shoulder and is doing his best to look like a model. He can’t get a proper read on how Kravitz is taking that. Obviously, he thinks Taako’s cute -- that’s a given. Everyone _knows_ Taako’s cute. But he’s been so stiff and awkward the whole night that Taako can’t figure out how much he’s enjoying his company. He figures maybe it’s the setting. It may have been a misfire to invite Kravitz out to a big party like this.

“How’s it going?” Kravitz asks. Angus shrugs contentedly.

“It’s a little loud,” he says, and pushes his glasses up his nose. “But I’ve been having fun. I’ve been going between reading and people-watching!”

“See anything good?” Taako asks, raising an eyebrow. Angus nods excitedly.

“Barry seems like he’s having a great time,” Angus says, closing his book on a bookmark and gesturing towards the corner where Barry and Lup -- now without Magnus -- are talking. Kravitz looks in their direction and grins in spite of the nerves he’s obviously suffering from.

“Fucking finally,” Taako says, rolling his eyes. “She’s had a crush on him since freshman year. Here’s hoping they get it out of their systems.”

“She has?” Kravitz asks, looking at Taako in surprise.

“Oh, yeah,” he says, rolling his eyes. “She’s into nerds. That’s her whole _thing._ Her girlfriend, Lucretia? You know Lucretia, right? Biggest fucking nerd. Runs a DND game. The whole nine yards. You ever played much DND, Krav?”

“Oh, no, I-”

“He can’t get a group together,” Angus pipes up. Kravitz shoots him a dirty look. “Or he would.”

Taako laughs. “Brutal, Ango.”

“Just telling the truth, sir!”

“Well,” Taako says, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Maybe I’ll hook you up.”

* * *

By the end of the night, Taako has laid the flirting on as thick as he thinks he possibly can, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining him much traction. That’s frustrating. Is Kravitz not picking up what he’s putting down? Worse, is he just not into it? Taako doesn’t know how that’s possible. There’s no reason to _not_ be into Taako. Taako’s _great_ , he tells himself.

“I should really get Angus home,” Kravitz says. He has the decency to sound apologetic about it, at least.

“Yeah, sure,” Taako says. “Go collect your nerds.”

Kravitz smiles. He’s been smiling a lot, but he can’t seem to shake a nervousness about it. It started off cute, but at this point Taako’s almost annoyed about it. “Thank you for inviting me. I had a… a really good time, Taako.”

“Me too, Kravitz,” he replies, standing up from the couch to offer Kravitz a deep, sweeping bow. Kravitz laughs at that, at least, before he wanders off to collect Barry and Angus. Taako watches them leave with a furrowed brow before looking around for Ren. Lup will be useless the rest of the night, _she_ seems to have had a _lovely_ conversation with her crush.

When he finds Ren chatting with a red-haired halfling whose name he doesn’t know, he sits down on the arm of the couch with a loud sigh. “ _Ren,_ ” he groans, cutting her off mid-sentence. Ren rolls her eyes.

“Sorry about him, Noelle,” she says.

“I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.”

“Shut the fuck up, Taako.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all!! thank you so much for reading!!!! if you enjoyed, please consider leaving a kudos and a comment. validation keeps me writing!!!
> 
> also find me on tumblr [@traumataako,](traumataako.tumblr.com) where i take ficlet requests and am always down to talk taz! love u! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz spends Sunday reeling and by Monday he feels like he’s walking on air. He talked to Taako at a _party_ , for crying out loud. A party that Taako _invited_ him to. That’s unbelievable. He doesn’t _go_ to parties, he doesn’t get _invited_ to parties. He stares at Taako’s name in his phone, at the little sparkling heart emoji next to it. By lunch on Monday, he feels brave enough to text first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i've been updating a little slowly !! school has been A Lot(tm) lately

Kravitz spends Sunday reeling and by Monday he feels like he’s walking on air. He talked to Taako at a _party_ , for crying out loud. A party that Taako _invited_ him to. That’s unbelievable. He doesn’t _go_ to parties, he doesn’t get _invited_ to parties. He stares at Taako’s name in his phone, at the little sparkling heart emoji next to it. By lunch on Monday, he feels brave enough to text first.

_Hey. Thanks for having me at the party._

He gets his usual lunch -- nearly burnt fries and a dry burger with chocolate milk -- and sits down next to Barry, his heart pounding as he waits for a reply. Barry looks equally overwhelmed and happy. Johann, as usual, is moping.

“So how was it?” he asks in lieu of a greeting, picking at his own fries but not really eating. Barry and Kravitz look at each other like they’re daring the other to go first. Barry caves first, as usual.

“I mean, it was fine,” he starts casually, taking a drink from his orange juice to stall. He drinks half of the small carton and comes up slightly breathless. “It was- I mean, parties aren’t really my scene, it turns out.”

“Mine either,” Kravitz agrees quickly.

“Oh, fuck off,” Johann says, raising an eyebrow.

“But- I mean- I talked to Lup the whole time,” Barry says. He blushes bright red almost instantaneously. “Which was… I mean, cool. She’s real cool.”

“No shit.”

“And really nice. And she looked _really_ good.”

“What did you talk about?” Kravitz asks.

“Um, lots of stuff. She’s on the basketball team, which is- I don’t know anything about it, but it’s really cool, and I think I’m going to go to one of her games-”

“I’m sorry, you _what_?” Johann asks with a disbelieving laugh. “You, Barry J. Bluejeans, are gonna go to a basketball game?”

“I could go to a basketball game! It’s possible!”

“Not probable,” Kravitz says. He grins at the look Barry shoots him.

“Well, what about you, Krav? You talked to Taako all night. Left poor Angus all alo-”

“You brought your little brother?” Johann asks. There’s a faint smile on his face. Kravitz can tell he’s not thrilled with them for some reason, but at least he can laugh at them.

“I forgot I had to babysit,” he says through a grimace.

“Your moms know he’s the only freshman who still has a babysitter, right?”

“He did skip a grade,” Kravitz says.

“So, the only eighth grade aged freshman.”

“Yeah. It was fine, he just read the whole time.” Kravitz shrugs. “And I think stared at people. You know, Angus things.”

“Yeah,” Johann agrees. “But what did you and Taako talk about?”

Kravitz feels his face heat up under the scrutiny from his friends. “Oh, you know… stuff… he liked my vest. He kept calling me a nerd.”

“That’s…”

“But, like, in a good way!” Kravitz clarifies quickly. “At least, I think.” His phone vibrates and he immediately checks it:

_no problem qt. we should hang again. it was a good time_

Kravitz’s heart soars and he glances quickly in Taako’s direction to see the elf looking directly at him. Taako shoots him a lazy grin and looks away, back towards the rest of his table. Kravitz watches breathlessly for a moment, taking in (as well as he can from halfway across a large room) the way the fluorescent lights glint off of Taako’s golden braid and the way he leans forward on the lunch table. He gives off such a carefree energy. Kravitz wishes he could relate.

“Was that him?” Barry asks, startling Kravitz back to the table. “The text.”

“Yeah,” Kravitz says, fighting back a doofy grin. “He wants to hang out again. And he called me cute.”

“Nice,” Barry says, absently clapping a hand on Kravitz’s shoulder. Johann rolls his eyes from across the table.

“I’m just saying, if you two start ignoring me for-”

“We won’t,” Kravitz says quickly. “We promise. Right, Barry?”

“Right. I mean, there’s not even any guarantee- I mean, we’re not really- you know?”

“Sure,” Johann says. He doesn’t sound like he believes them, not entirely.

* * *

Kravitz spends Home Ec distracted. He doesn’t burn his food this time, but he has an even harder time tearing his eyes away from Taako than usual, especially given that Taako keeps looking over his shoulder to glance at him. Ren keeps smacking him on the arm in a way that makes Kravitz think maybe he’s distracted, too.

He likes the thought that he’s distracting Taako, although he feels bad about it.

When the bell rings, Taako slings his bookbag over his shoulder and saunters over to Kravitz, which has him flustered immediately. “Hey,” Taako says.

“Hi,” Kravitz says. He slides his backpack on over his shoulders. “Uh, what’s up?”

“There’s a basketball game on, uh, on Friday night,” Taako says. “Bunch of us are going. I doubt it’s your scene,” he says casually, and Kravitz nearly winces.

“I mean,” he says. “I’m at all the football games.”

“Oh, yeah, marching band, right?” Taako snickers. “Not pep, though. I haven’t seen you there.”

“Uh, no. Not pep.”

“Right. Anyway, there’s a game Friday night. Lup’s playing. She typically does,” he says. His voice is slow and sweet. Kravitz loves the sound of it. “She wanted me to, uh, cordially invite you and Barold. She forgot to get his number.”

“Oh, sure,” Kravitz says. “Uh, you know it’s _Barry_ , ri-”

“Right, right. See you there, then.” Taako grins.

“Oh. Yeah, of course.”

He hasn’t even finished accepting before Taako has wandered off into the hallway to meet Ren and Lup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, thanks so much for reading! if you like it, consider leaving a kudos and a comment! and hey, feel free to message me on tumblr [@softshelltaakos](softshelltaakos.tumblr.com)! i love to talk taz!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz is hot and all, but it’s not like Taako’s emotionally invested, or charmed by what a well-meaning dork he is, or daydreaming about him on the regular. Because he’s _not_.
> 
> By the time Kravitz and Barry roll up in Kravitz’s beat-up black car, Taako’s fidgeting nervously with his hair. He’s standing in the hallway outside of the gym waiting for them and waves when he sees them.
> 
> “Took you long enough,” he says nonchalantly.

Taako started having second thoughts as soon as he climbed into Ren’s car on Monday, and they’ve been tormenting him all week. Kravitz McDonald is definitely not a sports guy. He’s in marching band, which Taako only knows because he’s been dragged to most of Magnus’s football games and spotted him in the ranks.

He looks good in his marching band uniform. Or he would, without the dumb hat, anyway.

But that doesn’t mean he’s into sports. Not that Taako’s into sports -- he only goes to the basketball games for Lup, after all. But this is two things in a row that Taako thinks Kravitz is distinctly _not into_ , and he now that he thinks about it, that doesn’t seem like the best foundation for dates. Not, to be sure, that he cares _that_ much. Kravitz is hot and all, but it’s not like Taako’s emotionally invested, or charmed by what a well-meaning dork he is, or daydreaming about him on the regular. Because he’s _not_.

By the time Kravitz and Barry roll up in Kravitz’s beat-up black car, Taako’s fidgeting nervously with his hair. He’s standing in the hallway outside of the gym waiting for them and waves when he sees them.

“Took you long enough,” he says nonchalantly.

“Sorry,” Kravitz says, and obviously means it. “My sister was, uh, interrogating me on where I was going on a Friday night.”

“You have a sister?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh.” Taako turns on his heel and leads the two of them into the gym, missing the nervous glance Kravitz shoots at Barry and the way Barry shrugs back at him. As they’re heading into the stands, one of Taako’s fathers waves his hands to catch Taako’s attention and he groans slightly, stopping in front of him and folding his arms.

“What, Merle,” he says flatly.

“Just wanted to meet your new friends,” Merle says pleasantly, looking up at Kravitz and Barry.

“This is Kravitz and Barold.”

“Uh, Barry,” Barry pipes up, smiling awkwardly. He extends a hand for Merle to shake, and Merle does so. Kravitz mimics the action.

“Jeez, kid, you got some poor circulation,” Merle says.

“Ah, yeah, I know,” Kravitz says. Taako watches as he absently wipes his hands on his black jeans. He must be sweaty, too, Taako thinks.

“Well, nice to meet you,” Merle says. He’s grinning like he knows something and Taako could just _die_ about it. He’s about to drag Kravitz and Barry away when the other half of the pair comes up.

Davenport and Merle Highchurch are an odd couple -- Merle’s wearing an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt over a Kenny Chesney tee in winter whereas Davenport’s shirt is starched stiff and buttoned up to the collar. He hands Merle a candybar and looks up at Barry and Kravitz. Taako wishes he wouldn’t. He’d much rather pretend he didn’t know these two old weirdos. “You must be Barold and Kravitz,” Davenport says.

“Apparently it’s Barry,” Merle says conversationally, and Taako rolls his eyes as another round of handshakes happens. “This is Davenport. And I’m Merle.”

“Can we get to our fuckin’ seats or are you old-timers gonna keep us here all night?” he drawls.

“Go on, go on,” Merle says, waving them off with a prosthetic arm. “Have fun.” Taako doesn’t turn away in time to miss the wink he gives Barry and Kravitz and he tries to ignore the way his face heats up. He’s pretty sure the foundation he’s wearing is full-coverage enough to cover it, but all the same.

Taako heads further into the stands. They’re close to the front, although not front-row like Davenport and Merle are. When they reach their destination, he glances at Kravitz to gauge a reaction to the assembled group: Magnus, decked out in school colors; Lucretia, with a sketchbook in her lap; and Ren, who quickly moves purses out of the way to clear three seats.

“Took you long enough,” she says in an excellent mimic of Taako, and he snorts.

“We got held up,” he says. He flops down unceremoniously. “You guys know Lucretia, right?”

Kravitz sits tentatively next to Taako and Barry next to him. “Uh, yeah,” Barry says. He looks nervous.

“We’ve had classes together,” Lucretia says, not looking up from her drawing. “Hi, Barry. Hi, Kravitz.”

“How’s it going?” Magnus asks. He’s grinning broadly, clearly in his element.

“It’s alright,” Kravitz says. He smiles. It’s a cute smile, even though he looks a little nervous.

“Cool, cool. You guys come to a lot of games?”

“Uh, no, not really,” Barry says. The teams enter the gym and Magnus is immediately hollering, prompting Taako to roll his eyes. Lucretia turns a page in her sketchbook and looks out across the court, smiling softly when her eyes land on Lup.

The four of them have a rhythm at Lup’s games. Lucretia sketches, either the players on the court or her friends in the stands (Magnus yelling, Taako posing, Ren’s power clashing and layers) while Taako and Ren talk loudly to be heard over the chaos of the gym. Magnus keeps them updated on what’s happening, as the only one of them who actually knows anything about basketball. He cheers for everyone, although it gets louder when it’s Lup or his girlfriend Julia Waxman. The energy is different now that Barry and Kravitz are here. Taako knows he literally did it to himself, but it makes him anxious. His legs jiggle on the bleachers.

“So how’s your week been?” he asks Kravitz.

“Oh, uh, pretty good. My sister’s home from school for her break so the house is a little hectic right now.”

“Did she go here? Would I, uh, know her?”

“She graduated the year before we started,” he says, shaking his head. “Sloane.”

“You got any other siblings I should know about?” Taako asks, raising an eyebrow. Kravitz chuckles, inaudible with the din.

“No, just the three of us,” he says. “Who, uh, who were Merle and… Davenport?”

Taako rolls his eyes. “Just a couple of old fucks,” he says with a shrug. Ren cuts in.

“They’re Taako and Lup’s dads,” she says.

“Oh,” Kravitz says. He looks flustered. It’s cute, like most things about him.

“Oh,” Barry says. He looks flustered, too, but it’s less cute. Taako doesn’t get Lup’s thing about him.

“Merle makes excellent edibles,” Lucretia chimes in. She’s not looking at her sketchbook, focusing intently on the court while her hands stay in motion. Taako doesn’t know how she has the energy to focus on those two things _and_ listen to conversation all at once. She’s a legend. “They’re lovely people.”

“They’re _boring_ ,” Taako groans. “Everyone stop talking about them. Magnus, what’s happening,” he starts, but is cut off by Magnus jerking to his feet with his arms up in the air and shouting.

“Fuck yeah, Lup!” he calls. “Go Mongeese!”

“Something good, I guess,” Barry says. “I think-”

“Three-pointer!”

“Oh, dope,” Taako says, and shouts a _Lup!_ of his own.

* * *

Lup meets them in the hallway carrying a duffel bag and grinning widely. “Pretty good win, am I right, Burnsides?” she asks, immediately high-fiving him.

“Fuck yeah, Highchurch. Where’s Jules?”

“She’ll be out in a minute,” Lup says. “Hey, Barry! Hey, Kravitz!” She wraps an arm around Lucretia’s waist and leans up to kiss her on the cheek before grinning at the two of them. “You nerds enjoy the game?”

“It, uh, it was great,” Barry says, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “You were really good.”

“She’s a force of nature,” Lucretia agrees, slinging an arm around her shoulders.

“You’re too kind,” Lup says, faking modesty in a voice that makes it obvious she’s not modest at all. “We usually get ice cream after games. You two in?”

“Sure,” Barry says quickly. Kravitz shoots him a look. Taako raises an eyebrow.

“Dope,” Lup says. “Meet you at Fantasy Coldstone.”

“Yeah,” Barry agrees. He grabs Kravitz’s arm and tugs him towards the exit, Kravitz shooting Taako an apologetic look as he’s pulled away. Lup giggles as they leave. Taako rolls his eyes.

“They seem cool,” Magnus says.

“They seem like absolute losers,” Taako says.

“Yeah, but they’re cute,” Lup says with a contented sigh. “C’mon. We don’t wanna be late!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know ANYTHING about basketball so forgive me for skimming over the action! i'm sure it was a very good game. lup did BASKETS. anyway, thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please consider leaving a kudos and a comment!! messages keep me writing!
> 
> and speaking of messages, feel free to hit me up on my [tumblr](softshelltaakos.tumblr.com), where i'm always down to talk taz! i also take ficlet requests and hey, if you talk to me about this au, you might just Affect The Story ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s in too deep, and he thinks, rationally, he should probably abort the mission. Taako might not be _popular_ , but he’s _cool_ ; certainly too cool for Kravitz. Somehow that doesn’t stop him from pulling into a parking spot at Fantasy Coldstone and looking around anxiously for Taako.

“You’re not going to impress her by hiding in the bathroom all night because you ate dairy,” Kravitz says as soon as he and Barry are on their way to the ice cream parlor.

“They have sorbets,” Barry replies defensively. He takes off his glasses and pulls out a cloth to polish them with.

“None of which you _like_ ,” Kravitz says. He rolls his eyes, but Barry just shrugs.

“I don’t _not_ like them.”

“You’re the worst, Barry J. Bluejeans, do you know that?”

Still, it’s not like he’s not going to turn down to opportunity to spend more time with Taako. He kept being caught off-guard by him in the bleachers, by the easiness with which he laughs and his sense of humor. He trades insults back and forth with his friends with no real venom and he has the worst laugh Kravitz has ever heard, high pitched and breathless. Kravitz thinks it’s cute. He’s in too deep.

He’s in too deep, and he thinks, rationally, he should probably abort the mission. Taako might not be _popular_ , but he’s _cool_ ; certainly too cool for Kravitz. Somehow that doesn’t stop him from pulling into a parking spot at Fantasy Coldstone and looking around anxiously for Taako.

It takes a few minutes for them to get there. Magnus and Julia climb out of Magnus’s beat-up red pick-up truck first, still talking about the game. Then, after what feels like an hour but is closer to fifteen minutes, Taako is the first one out of Ren’s Fantasy Subaru, followed by Lup, Lucretia, and Ren herself. “ _Someone_ ,” he drawls, “insists on actually doing complete stops.”

“That’s the law, Taako,” Ren says, rolling her eyes. She pulls on his braid as she walks by him and he gasps, apparently deeply offended by this attack.

“Did you see that?” he asks Kravitz, who laughs nervously. “Did you _see_ that? Fight for my honor, Krav.”

“Don’t do it, McDonald, I could kick your ass,” Ren chirps. She holds the door open for everyone as they make their way into the shop.

Kravitz orders black cherry ice cream with pieces of brownie mixed in and fights the urge to roll his eyes at Barry’s order of lemonade sorbet. Taako orders cheesecake ice cream with “as many raspberries as you can legally give me, boychik,” and grins at Kravitz as he plops one into his mouth.

The shop is small for the eight of them as they squeeze into seats. They fit, but not comfortably -- at least, Kravitz isn’t comfortable. Then again, he rarely is. He sits, somehow winding up with Taako one one side of him and Magnus on the other. Simply because of how much space Magnus takes up, he winds up closer to Taako, and he feels his palms start to sweat as his and Taako’s knees bump together. He stares straight ahead at Barry, sitting on the other side of the table between Lup and Ren.

“So you guys are in a band, right?” Julia asks, looking between Kravitz and Barry. “That’s so cool.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah,” Barry says, while Kravitz just feels caught off-guard. There’s no way Julia Waxman should know he’s in a band. They barely exist, and certainly not on the same echelon that Julia does, as a basketball player and girlfriend to the most popular dude in school.

“Do you have an album?” Magnus continues the line of questioning good-naturedly, taking a huge bite of chocolate ice cream.

“Is it good?” Taako asks, leaning forward on the table and grinning at Kravitz. His eyeliner is so even. His eyeshadow is so glittery. He’s impeccable.

“Not really,” Kravitz says immediately. He smiles nervously. It’s not how he really feels -- the three of them are all pretty fucking skilled musicians, and at the very least it’s not _bad_ \-- but that seems like the wrong thing to say. He doesn’t want to brag. Besides, what if he says it’s good and Taako listens to it and hates it? It’s safer to downplay the band. It’s fine.

“It’s not _awful_ ,” Barry says. Kravitz thinks he’s going through the same thought process.

“I bet it’s good,” Lup says. “You’re being modest.”

“You shouldn’t sell yourself short,” Lucretia says with a nod. She has her sketchbook out again and Kravitz can see (albeit upside down) her work from the game. It’s impressive work. All of Taako’s friends are _impressive_ , Kravitz thinks almost despairingly. Certainly more impressive than he and Barry.

“Krav plays, what, five instruments?” Taako says. He leans on Kravitz, which makes Kravitz’s heartbeat pick up to a million miles an hour.

“Uh, yeah,” he says nervously. “Five.”

“Shit, that’s cool,” Magnus says, eyes wide and evidently genuine. “One of them’s trumpet, right? I know you’re in marching band.”

“Trombone, actually,” Kravitz says. His palms feel like he’s just dipped them in water.

“He picked it because it’s got bone in it,” Barry says. Kravitz stares across at him as Taako bursts into laughter.

“That’s- that’s not true,” Kravitz sputters. (It is.)

“Too fuckin’ goth to function, huh, Krav?” Taako asks. He stops leaning on him so that he can wipe his eyes with his fingertips, checking them afterwards to see if his makeup smudged.

“We were in third grade,” Kravitz says pathetically, kicking Barry under the table for the betrayal. “I thought skeletons were really cool.”

“Which they are,” Barry says, grinning a little bit at Kravitz’s discomfort. Shithead.

“If you wanted to do something skeletal,” Lucretia starts dryly. She’s leaning forward on the table with her hands folded in front of her like she’s in a business meeting that she is entirely in control of. Her eyes, one blue and one brown, are fixed on Kravitz. Her septum is centered perfectly, a feat Kravitz doesn’t think he’s achieved once in his entire life. Kravitz has never been more afraid in his life. “You should have gone with a xylophone. Everybody knows that the clearest skeletal analogue in music is the xylophone.”

“Uh, hold on,” Magnus says, and now he’s leaning in too, which gives Kravitz a reprieve from Lucretia’s stare as she turns towards him. “Explain?”

“It’s a ribcage, Magnus,” she says. Magnus thinks for a moment as if she’s given him some important life advice and then nods.

“Okay,” he says. “That tracks! Yeah, Krav, you should’ve gone with a xylophone.”

Kravitz is utterly bewildered. He takes a bite of his ice cream to stall and then Taako is leaning on him again, changing the subject like nothing. “How’s your ice cream, bone boy?” he asks, grinning.

“Uh, it’s good,” he says. Lup asks Barry what instrument he plays and the conversation shifts away from Kravitz, but Taako’s attention doesn’t.

“How about those brownie bits? Probably cheap storebought shit.” Taako reaches towards Kravitz’s cup and raises an eyebrow at him. Kravitz stares, dumbfounded. “I’m, uh, uh, gonna steal a brownie, is what’s happening. Is that cool?”

“Oh,” Kravitz says. “Uh, yeah, sure.”

Taako picks a small brownie bit out of the cup, trying to avoid touching the ice cream itself, and puts it in his mouth without looking away from Kravitz’s face. He chews for a long moment. “Well,” he says after he swallows. He separates from Kravitz again, picks a raspberry off of his ice cream and holds it out to him. “My brownies are better. I’ll have to make them for you sometime. Raspberry?”

Kravitz likes the way he made that sound like a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a short chapter today, but hey thanks for reading!! if you're enjoying this fic, please consider leaving a kudos and a comment -- feedback keeps me writing! also feel free to hit me up on [tumblr, @softshelltaakos,](softshelltaakos.tumblr.com) where i'm always excited to get messages. n_n


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want to come over?”
> 
> Taako’s ear twitches against his phone and he sits up on his bed. “For real? I don’t wanna interrupt dinner.”
> 
> “We can set an extra plate,” he says. “It’s fine. You don’t have to, but-”
> 
> “Yeah, shit, I’ll come,” Taako says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is like twice as long as they usually are so i hope you enjoy it twice as much!
> 
> also, hey, wow, tumblr user iamafullyrealizedcreation [drew the last chapter!](https://iamafullyrealizedcreation.tumblr.com/post/172313913921/hmmmm-i-ended-up-drawing-a-scene-from) this is the first piece of art anyone’s ever done of my writing and i’m so touched, so check that out. that’s so cool. thanks del!

Taako slams the door to his room, his hands shaking. He doesn’t like being angry. He really doesn’t. It doesn’t feel right in his body, the way it pulses through his veins. Growing up, Lup was the angry one. Taako was the cautious one. They balanced each other out. He’s only grown accustomed to _anger_ since coming to live with the Highchurches.

If he were in a clearer state of mind, he might realize it’s because he feels safe here; because here, he can _feel_ things without having to fear for what it means. They won’t kick him out if he gets angry. They won’t make him leave if he slams a door. He’s not used to that.

But he’s angry, and angry doesn’t do self-reflection well, so he throws himself face-first onto his bed instead to fume. The issue is this: Taako went to a party the night before, one that Lup skipped in favor of studying, like a loser. That much is fine. He goes to parties often enough and it’s no issue. And then he crashed on the couch, because he was too drunk to get home easily and safely, which as far as he’s concerned is what he was _supposed_ to do.

When he woke up the next afternoon he had about three million missed texts from Davenport, Merle, and Lup, and when he got home he and Davenport got into it. Merle tried to soothe their tempers, but it didn’t work well; if anything, his attempts at pacifying him made Taako even angrier. What’s worse is that Lup is on their side. She’s not supposed to do that -- it’s supposed to be the two of them against the world, who _cares_ what Davenport and Merle say? She should have had his back.

Taako is crying last night’s eyeliner into his pillow because god damn it, she should have had his back.

He stays there for a long time, facedown on his bed, only shifting onto his back once he’s stopped crying. Taako hates to cry. It’s embarrassing. It’s vulnerable. Who _does_ that?

It’s five o’clock by the time he rolls out of bed and storms into the bathroom to take a shower. If nothing else it feels good to wash off the sweat from the party, the makeup from yesterday; to massage his scalp after having his bleach-blonde hair in a ponytail for something like twenty-four hours. Lup and Merle and Davenport are downstairs eating dinner, but Taako doesn’t want to deal with that. He walks straight back into his room and slams the door again for good measure.

His stomach growls. He decides he doesn’t feel like being alone, although he certainly doesn’t feel like being with the people downstairs. He calls Kravitz.

“Hi,” comes the voice on the other side of the line when he picks up.

“Hey,” Taako says. He tries not to sound as worn out as he feels, but he doesn’t think it works very well.

“What’s, uh, what’s up, Taako?”

“Not much. Am I interrupting dinner or some shit?”

“No, we don’t eat until like six,” Kravitz says. “Are you okay? You sound, uh…”

“Ah, fuck,” Taako grumbles. He exhales. On the other end, Kravitz is silent. “I’m just having a day, you know how it fuckin’ goes, handsome.”

“Oh,” Kravitz says awkwardly. “Do you… want to talk about it?”

“Nah,” Taako says. He doesn’t want that level of vulnerability, not yet, certainly not over the phone. Besides, if Lup sided with their “parents,” there’s no guarantee Kravitz won’t, as well. “Just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Oh,” Kravitz says again. Taako imagines him sitting awkwardly in his room, presumably decorated ceiling-to-floor with My Chemical Romance and Evanescence posters. “Well, I’m… I’m here for you.”

“What have you been up to today?”

“Not much. Just some homework, mostly.”

“Loser,” Taako says, and Kravitz laughs a little bit. He sounds less nervous than he usually does -- Taako guesses because he’s on his home turf, because he’s not surrounded by relative strangers.

“Yeah, I know,” he says. “But from what I can tell, you don’t mind too much.”

Taako feels his cheeks heat up. “Whatever,” he says. “It’s cool.”

“Sorry, was that-”

“Nah. I mean, you’re right. I like talking to you.”

Kravitz is quiet for a moment. Taako almost thinks he hung up. They speak at the same time:

“Krav? You there?”

“Do you want to come over?”

Taako’s ear twitches against his phone and he sits up on his bed. “For real? I don’t wanna interrupt dinner.”

“We can set an extra plate,” he says. “It’s fine. You don’t have to, but-”

“Yeah, shit, I’ll come,” Taako says. He moves quickly, putting his phone on speakerphone so he can grab his binder and slip it on over his head. “Don’t make dessert, I’ll make you those brownies or something. You got the shit to make brownies? I can stop by the store.”

“I think we have stuff,” Kravitz says. “You really don’t have to-”

“Yeah, but I want to,” Taako says. “Besides, I told you I would.”

That much is true, but he couldn’t truthfully say that’s the only reason. He feels bad, taking food from people; he feels bad, inserting himself into someone’s routine. If he’s useful, it’s not so bad. If he’s useful, people don’t get rid of him.

“Okay,” Kravitz says. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you soon, then?”

“Yeah. Text me your address.”

Taako quickly slaps on some eyeliner and does his eyebrows, dark and thick in contrast to his light hair. He pulls on a pale pink sweater and black skinny jeans. He takes deep breaths and stops by the dining room on his way out.

“I’m having dinner with a friend,” he says coldly.

“You most certainly are n-” Davenport starts, but Merle cuts him off.

“Home before eleven,” the dwarf says, then takes a bite of spaghetti. “Be safe.”

Lup doesn’t look at him. He doesn’t look at Lup. “Whatever,” he says, and makes his way out of the house.

* * *

Kravitz and his family live in a tall gray Victorian house about ten minutes from the Highchurches’ place, and Taako spends a long moment outside drinking in the details before he makes his way to the door. He inhales deeply before he knocks and only exhales when he hears footsteps coming to the door. A woman opens the door, tall and dark-skinned with a severe face. She wears all black, and her wavy, graying hair hangs down to her waist. Taako can guess where Kravitz got his flair for the dramatic, then.

“You must be Taako,” the woman says, and her lips are painted crimson, and they bend into a soft smile. “Kravitz has told us a lot about you.” She steps aside to let him in.

“ _Has_ he?” Taako asks. He’s nervous, but he likes the sound of that.

“He’s talked you up. I hear you’re making us brownies tonight.”

“Oh. Yeah, thought I might treat y’all.”

“That sounds delightful.” She leads him through a narrow hallway into the kitchen, where Kravitz is helping another woman with dinner as Angus sets the table. Angus perks up as the two of them enter and he waves excitedly at Taako, holding a shining piece of silverware in his hand.

“Hello, sir!” he chirps.

“Hey, Agnes,” Taako says with a lazy wave of his own. Kravitz turns around. He’s wearing a lacy white apron over his black clothes. Taako tries not to giggle.

“Taako,” he says, smiling. “Uh, hi. This- you know Angus. These are our moms. Raven and Istus.” He gestures at each of them as he names them.

“It’s good to meet you,” says Raven, moving away from him to help Angus finish setting the table. Istus turns around. She has silver hair piled high in a bun on her head and smiles brightly at him, looking him up and down. Somehow she’s more intimidating than her wife. Taako stands up a little straighter.

“Welcome,” she says after she’s regarded him for a moment. “Please make yourself comfortable. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Oh, I’m okay for now,” he says. If Kravitz has been awkward in the situations Taako’s been putting him in, the shoe’s on the other foot now. Domesticity, _family,_ is not in Taako’s wheelhouse. “Thanks,” he adds quickly.

“Of course. Dinner will be ready in just a minute. Angus, go grab Sloane?” Istus says as she turns back to the stove.

“Yes, ma’am,” Angus says. He scampers out of the kitchen and up the stairs out of sight. Raven pulls out a chair and gestures for Taako to sit down, which he does.

“You, uh, you have a beautiful house,” he says.

“Thank you,” Raven says. Her voice is deep and low and soothing. “Istus does most of the decorating.”

“If you did it there would be red velvet curtains and decaying busts everywhere,” Istus says cheerfully. “Black feather lampshades and-”

“Just because that’s how my apartment looked in college,” Raven cuts her off with a laugh.

Istus laughs too and takes off her apron. She and Kravitz begin to carry dishes to the table: a simple starter salad, then a pasta loaded with vegetables. They set the dishes down in the center of the table and Kravitz sits down next to Taako. “Hi,” he says, smiling.

“Hey,” Taako replies. He’s on edge, but the smile helps ease his nerves a little.

Angus returns downstairs with another tall woman in tow. She’s unmistakable as a McDonald sibling -- the three of them have the same big brown eyes and, while the patterns are different, they all have vitiligo in a constellation across their face. “This is Sloane,” Angus says cheerfully. He sits across from Taako. Sloane sits next to him and grins at the two of them, raising an eyebrow at Kravitz, who stiffens noticeable.

“Hey,” Sloane says. She reaches a lean arm across the table to shake Taako’s hand. He shakes.

“Hi,” he says.

“You and Krav been hanging out long?” she asks.

“Uh,” Taako says. He knows he’s just gone slightly pink in the cheeks. His ears twitch, flattening slightly against his head. “Just a few times.”

“I hear you got him to go to a basketball game. That’s impressive. He won’t come to any of my shit.”

“You don’t live in town,” Kravitz says, rolling his eyes.

“I live, like, three hours away,” she says, fake affronted.

“It’s four hours and you know that.”

“I’m just sad that my sweet baby brother doesn’t-”

“Sloane, please,” Kravitz groans. Sloane laughs.

“What do you play?” Taako asks, though he has little to no interest in _anyone’s_ sports if it’s not Lup’s. He fidgets with one of his many rings.

“I’m on Goldcliff’s best roller derby team,” she says, puffing out her chest. “No biggie.”

“Oh, cool,” he says.

“She’s very good,” Angus says. “Right?”

“I’m basically the best, yeah.”

Taako smiles slightly bitterly in spite of himself. Sloane would get along with Lup, he thinks. He doesn’t want to be mad at Lup, but at the same time, it’s what she deserves right now. She can’t get off scot-free for siding with their _dads._

“I, uh, I don’t actually know shit about derby,” he confesses, prompting Sloane to launch into an explanation of the sport as dinner begins.

* * *

Taako pulls brownies out of the McDonalds’ oven, wearing Kravitz’s apron. He’s still uncomfortable -- he doesn’t feel right intruding on this family’s night, although baking for them is alleviating some of his guilt. As the night’s gone on he’s been compiling profiles of Kravitz’s family members in his mind: Raven has a flair for the dramatic and a low, solemn voice; Istus is warm and welcoming but vastly intimidating; Sloane is confident and funny and has a fiancee that she’s very in love with. Angus is, of course, the world’s biggest nerd, except for maybe Kravitz.

They’ve been in the kitchen alone for a while now, talking absently about things that don’t matter. Taako has felt his heart rate slow from the raw anger and worry that was nestled into his arteries at the beginning of the night, and while he isn’t in a _good_ mood now, he’s doing better than he was. Taako sets the brownies down on the stove to cool. “Just you wait ‘til you have some of these, handsome, they’re gonna knock your painfully goth socks off.”

“You know, you wear about as much black as I do.”

“Yeah, but I’m not a nerd.”

“So wait, am I a nerd or a goth?”

“Both,” Taako says. “Where’s a knife?”

Kravitz walks over to Taako and opens a drawer. He holds a knife out to Taako handle-first. Their fingers brush when Taako takes the knife, not accidentally. They’re closer to each other than they have been since Coldstone, and Taako feels his face heat up slightly. Kravitz looks down at him and grins slightly when he sees the redness on his face. “Are you blushing?”

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, bone boy.” Taako turns away to cut the brownies. His work is precise, careful, and rewards him with a pan of nearly perfectly evenly sized brownies. He sets the knife down and turns around to see that Kravitz hasn’t moved. “They’ll, uh, uh, they need to cool for a little while.”

“Sure.”

“What time is it?”

Kravitz pulls his phone out of his pocket to check. He has a plain black phone case. “Almost eight.”

“Cool.” Taako clears his throat and walks away from the stove, sitting down at the table. Kravitz hesitates for a moment, then follows him and sits down across from him. Taako sets a timer on his phone. “I have to be home by eleven.”

“Sure.” Kravitz rests his elbows on the table, his chin propped up in his left hand. He watches Taako. It speeds Taako’s heart rate up again in a much more pleasant way than the earlier events of the day did. “So where are you from?” he asks, and just like that, Taako’s heart seems to stop entirely.

“Huh?”

“Just, I know you and Lup transferred into the system freshman year, right?”

Taako chews on the inside of his cheek for a moment. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, is that- is that an insensitive question? You don’t have to-”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Taako shrugs and looks down at the table. “We moved around a lot,” he says. “But we were born in New Elfington.”

“Oh, cool,” Kravitz says. He still looks worried that he’s made a misstep, and Taako sighs slightly.

“The Highchurches only adopted us the summer between eighth grade and freshman year. They moved us here so we could have a fresh start, or whatever.” He looks back up at Kravitz. “We didn’t have a great childhood until then.”

“Oh,” Kravitz says. “I’m sorry.”

Taako shrugs. “That’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “It’s not like we’re the only homeless elves in the world.”

“I guess so.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Okay.” Kravitz hesitates and then reaches across the table, holding his hand out for Taako. Taako stares at it for a moment, long enough to make Kravitz second-guess himself and start to take his hand back, at which point Taako moves in a rush. He grabs Kravitz’s hand more roughly than he meant to, more desperately that intended. He knows he’s holding on too tight. Kravitz doesn’t seem to mind. He smiles softly across at Taako, strokes his thumb across the back of Taako’s hand. Taako feels his cheeks heat up again, feels his eyes water. He’s not used to anything that tender.

He looks away, past Kravitz, towards the stove. Neither of them say anything for a long while. Only Taako’s phone timer going off breaks the silence, breaks the connection of their hands.

“Call your family in, these brownies are gonna be dope,” he says quietly. When Kravitz stands up to go get them, Taako moves to him quickly and wraps his arms around Kravitz, presses his cheek to Kravitz’s collarbone, hugs him tightly for just a moment before pulling away and moving back to the stove.

He feels safe here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey thanks for reading!!! if you're enjoying, please consider leaving a kudos and a comment -- feedback keeps me writing!
> 
> speaking of feedback, toss me a message on my tumblr, [@softshelltaakos,](softshelltaakos.tumblr.com) and you might influence what happens in the fic! i'm open to suggestion and i love to chat :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not that Taako is completely ignoring him, but Taako came over on Saturday night and now it’s Friday afternoon and Taako hasn’t texted first once. He’s been replying with one or two word answers. He hasn’t waited for Kravitz after Home Ec once; he’s practically rushed out as if to avoid him. Kravitz is in agony. This is what agony feels like. Kravitz is nearly ready to give up when his phone buzzes at lunch.
> 
> _hey bones. sry i’ve been weird. dinner tonight ?_

Taako pulls away after he visits Kravitz’s house, and Kravitz doesn’t know how to take that. Did he do something wrong? Did his family scare Taako off? He’s filled with anxiety and dread that this brief interlude in his life has ended. It _seemed_ like it went well at the time, Kravitz thinks. Taako hugged him. But now he’s distant, far away.

It’s not that Taako is completely ignoring him, but Taako came over on Saturday night and now it’s Friday afternoon and Taako hasn’t texted first once. He’s been replying with one or two word answers. He hasn’t waited for Kravitz after Home Ec once; he’s practically rushed out as if to avoid him. Kravitz is in agony. This is what agony feels like. Kravitz is nearly ready to give up when his phone buzzes at lunch.

_hey bones. sry i’ve been weird. dinner tonight ?_

Kravitz stares, practically dumbstruck, at the text for a long moment. When he looks across the lunchroom he catches Taako turning quickly away. He texts back.

_Yeah, sure. Where and when?_

He watches Taako. He laughs at one of Lucretia’s jokes, falling against Lup’s side. He’s a physical person, Kravitz thinks. He likes to be close to people. It seems at odds with the aloofness of his personality, but Kravitz likes it. It’s funny, the way he never noticed it before. Once you’re looking, really looking and not just staring, it’s hard to miss.

It takes a horrible five minutes for Taako to look at his phone again, during which Kravitz can barely hear Johann and Barry talk. Kravitz’s phone buzzes as Taako sets his down.

_my place 5 o’clock be there or be square_

_I’ll be there. Dress code?_

Kravitz sets his phone down and exhales. “He texted me,” he says, interrupting Barry mid-sentence.

“Oh, good,” Barry says good-naturedly, taking the interruption on the chin. “What’s the deal?”

“I have no idea, but I’m having dinner at his place tonight,” Kravitz says. Barry and Johann both stare for a moment.

“We said we’d have band practice tonight,” Johann says tensely after a pause.

“Oh, fuck,” Kravitz says. “I’m sorry. Can we do it tomorrow night?”

“I’m supposed to see a movie with my mom,” Barry says.

“Sunday?”

“Whatever,” Johann says bitterly. He stands up from the table, despite his lunch being only half-eaten, and walks off without another word. Kravitz grimaces.

“He’s pissed,” he says.

“Yeah, no shit,” Barry agrees, furrowing his brow. “Can you do it some other night?” Kravitz’s phone goes off again.

_merle only wears a shirt like half the time so its whatever lol_

Kravitz shifts uncomfortably. “No,” he says. “I don’t think I can.”

Whatever the reason, Taako has been distant for a week, and now he’s reaching out -- Kravitz is worried that if he doesn’t take the hand that’s being offered to him, it won’t be offered again. Barry sighs and adjusts his glasses.

“Well, let me know how it goes,” he says. “I’ll talk to Johann. Maybe we can get some lyrics done tonight or something.”

“Sure,” Kravitz says. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Barry says with a shrug. “Have fun.”

* * *

Taako said the dress code was whatever, but Kravitz overdresses for nearly everything aside from school. He puts on a nice pair of slacks and his favorite vest, the same one he wore to the party. When he tells his parents where he’s going, Istus presses a bottle of red wine into his hands to offer Merle and Davenport as a thank you for inviting him into their home.

He takes a moment to collect his thoughts outside of the Highchurch household, which proves to be a mistake, as Lup opens the door while he’s standing on the sidewalk out front.

“It’s cold out there,” she says conversationally. She’s grinning a crooked grin. “Get inside.”

Kravitz wouldn’t know about the cold, the way his cheeks heat up. “Hi,” he says nearly apologetically as he hurries into the house.

“You can put your coat wherever. Taako’s in the kitchen.”

“Thanks.” Kravitz takes off his peacoat and sets it on a nearby chair which has Taako’s and Lup’s coats flung over its back, then follows Lup into the kitchen. Taako is in his element -- he was on Saturday, baking at Kravitz’s, but he’s even more so here in his own kitchen. He wears an apron that reads “No Bitchin’ In My Fuckin’ Kitchen” across the front. His hair is pulled back and elaborately braided. His makeup is immaculate. Kravitz knows he’s staring, but he doesn’t care — Taako looks completely at peace, and he doesn’t even glance in Kravitz and Lup’s direction until she walks over and ruffles his hair playfully.

“Lup, I swear to god, I will end your _life,_ ” he says after a quick yelp, and Lup laughs and simply gestures in Kravitz’s direction. Kravitz thinks he can see Taako’s cheeks go a little bit pink. “Hey, Krav,” he says, trying to collect himself.

“Hey,” Kravitz replies, smiling sheepishly.

“Hey,” Lup cuts in. Taako shoots her a look that she rebuffs by sticking her tongue out before leaving the room. He reaches a hand up to check on the state of his hair (it’s safe, despite Lup’s best efforts) and then seems to relax slightly.

“What’s up?” he asks, turning back to the stove.

“Oh, uh, not much,” Kravitz says. He feels a pang of guilt for missing band practice, but watching Taako cook is breathtaking. Maybe that’s teenage hormones making him melodramatic, but Taako moves like a dancer, like an acrobat; there’s flourishes that don’t need to be there, there’s a rhythm to his movement.

“That’s cool,” Taako says. He turns off a burner and sets down the wooden spoon in his hand before shouting: “Hey, dinner’s ready!”

Kravitz clutches the bottle of red wine he’s holding as the rest of the Highchurches enter the room -- Lup first, then Merle and Davenport.

“Hey, Kraven,” Merle says politely.

“Oh, uh- Kravitz,” Kravitz corrects.

“He knows, he’s just being a turd,” Taako says, rolling his eyes. As a group they make their way to the dining room. The table looks like it’s been recently cleaned. Before Kravitz sits down, he awkwardly tries to catch Davenport’s attention.

“Uh- I brought you this. My, uh, my moms sent it. They… send their regards?”

“It’s poisoned,” Lup says immediately with a lazy grin. “Sending their regards? Malicious and suspicious, bone boy.”

“No, they didn’t- they didn’t say that, I just-”

“Kidding,” Lup says. She flops into a chair and pats the one next to her, still grinning at Kravitz. It’s still an easy grin, still relaxed, but Kravitz can’t help but be intimidated by it. He sits after Davenport takes the bottle.

“That’s a good vintage,” he says as he reads the label. “Tell your parents thank you. Merle, would you go get some wine glasses?”

“Sounds good,” Merle agrees, disappearing back into the kitchen. When he returns, it’s with five glasses in hand. Kravitz blinks, and it’s not really until Merle speaks that it dawns on him why. “You a drinker, kid?”

“I, uh,” he says nervously, almost afraid this is a test of some sort. If he says yes, he’s a delinquent, but if he says no, he’s a loser, right? At least in Taako and Lup’s eyes -- he can’t get a read on their parents. “Not- not a lot, but…”

“Well, you’re the one who brought the wine, so if you wanna try it, try it,” Merle says. Kravitz practically breathes out a sigh of relief as Merle sets a glass down in front of him but doesn’t fill it.

“I’ll probably skip it, but thank you,” he says as Merle seats himself at one end of the table. Taako starts dishing out dinner -- a tofu stir-fry with fresh vegetables. “I still have to drive home later.”

“Oh, I meant to tell you you can crash here if you want,” Taako says. His voice is the same cool, even tone it always is, but from the way he averts his eyes, Kravitz thinks he might be nervous about the question. He smiles a little bit. He’s nervous himself, but he likes that look on Taako -- it’s not vulnerability, but it’s close.

“Maybe, then,” he says, and they begin to eat.

* * *

By the time dinner is over the bottle of wine is finished and a new one has been opened. Most of it went to Davenport and Merle, but Kravitz did end up having two glasses, and considering that “not a lot” was a stretch on how much he drinks, he’s feeling a little buzzed. He calls his parents to make sure it’s alright for him to stay, hoping desperately that they can’t hear any hint of drunkenness in his voice, and thankfully, he gets the all clear. Now he and Taako sit in the Highchurch guest room, laughing to themselves. Taako has another glass of wine sitting on the bedside table, although Kravitz is sipping water now.

“Your parents are, uh,” Kravitz starts. He’s laying on the bed, his vest unbuttoned (it felt too tight after how much he ate) and his locs taken out of the bun he had them pinned up in. Taako snorts, sitting next to him, carefully running his hands through his own hair to undo the braids he wore. Without it being up, Taako’s hair falls just past his shoulders. Kravitz wants to reach out and stroke his fingers through it the same way Taako himself is doing, but he resists the urge. “Colorful?”

“They’re barely my parents,” Taako says insistently. “They’re just some old dudes I live with.”

“Be that as it may,” Kravitz chuckles. “They’re… cool.”

“They’re losers,” Taako replies. He’s smiling slightly, though. He slides a hair tie onto his wrist and shrugs, leaning back against the headboard. “It’s a wonder they haven’t sapped all _my_ cool energy out of my fuckin’, uh, uh, my fuckin’ body.”

“That’d be hard,” Kravitz says thoughtfully. “You have a lot of it.”

He sees Taako blush. “Yeah, duh,” Taako snorts, looking away from Kravitz under the pretense of shaking out his hair. “Obviously.”

Kravitz smiles gently, tearing his eyes away from Taako to look around the room. The Highchurch house is eclectically decorated -- this particular room seems to be Merle’s domain, with plants everywhere and floral bedding. There’s also a bookshelf packed top to bottom with young adult novels, which throws him for a little bit of a loop. Neither Taako or Lup seem the type to read those, nor do their parents. This family -- because try as Taako might to deny it, it’s obvious that that’s what they are -- is interesting. Loud and chaotic and strange, but interesting.

Merle walks by the guest bedroom carrying a tray of brownies. “Hey, kids,” he calls, waggling his eyebrows. Kravitz remembers what Lucretia said about Merle’s edibles and laughs nervously.

“Go away, Merle,” Taako says, waving his hand lazily in Merle’s direction. “Not tonight.”

“Alright,” Merle says. “Keep the door open, yadda, yadda.”

“ _Go away, Merle,_ ” Taako scoffs, but Kravitz can see the color in his cheeks grow brighter. Merle laughs boisterously as he walks out of sight through the hallway. Taako walks over and slams the door behind him, although he doesn’t look angry, just embarrassed. When he returns to the bed he flops, laying down next to Kravitz and staring up at the ceiling.

Kravitz watches him. He thinks Taako is beautiful. He thinks that if he was sober he wouldn’t ask what he’s about to ask. “Taako? How did you end up here?”

“No one else would have us,” Taako replies. His tone is surprisingly earnest, similar to how it was a week ago in the McDonald kitchen. He fidgets with the necklace he’s wearing, a long silver chain with an anchor at the end. “We got… passed around, for a while. None of our, hah, ‘family’ could handle us. And then we got sick of that, so we left, and just kinda… moved around a lot by ourselves. We were with a circus for a while,” he says, finally looking away from the ceiling and over at Kravitz. His face is blank, but Kravitz can see something in his eyes that he’s not used to seeing in Taako -- fear? nerves? There’s a need for approval that isn’t usually there -- at least, it isn’t usually visible.

“The circus was okay. But, you know, we were kids. We couldn’t do that much shit. And the people there thought we should be _in school_ or whatever. Fuckin’... good samaritan motherfuckers.” His voice is slow and deliberate, practically down an octave from its usual cadence. “So they, uh, uh, took us to fuckin’... child services or, you know, whatever. And then we got passed around some more. And then Merle and Davenport came around, and we were…” He trails off, looking away from Kravitz again. He sits up and wraps his arms around his knees, resting his chin on top of them, curling up like he needs to feel _small_. “Home, I guess, is what we’re supposed to call it.”

Kravitz sits up, too, hesitantly and slowly, and he rests a hand on Taako’s back. Taako jumps slightly, looking up at Kravitz in surprise, but he doesn’t pull away from the contact. If anything, he straightens his back slightly, presses it into Kravitz’s hand, which makes Kravitz take another step: he wraps his arm around Taako’s shoulders, pulls him slightly closer.

“I’m glad you’re home,” he says quietly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey folks!! i'm sorry it's been a while since i updated, but here's some boys!!!!
> 
> as always, thank you so much for reading. it means a lot to me! if you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a kudos or especially a comment -- that stuff keeps me writing. also feel free to hit me up on tumblr [@ softshelltaakos](softshelltaakos.tumblr.com), where i'm always down to talk taz!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just-- just hold me,” Taako says weakly. “Tighter.”
> 
> Kravitz squeezes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI i'm sorry i haven't updated this gotdang fic in like a month and change!!!! i promise i haven't forgotten about it, i just haven't been in the headspace for writing. thank you so much for your patience. have some backstory!

Taako wakes up in his own room in a cold sweat. Another night, another nightmare. It’s not an every night occurrence, but it’s not rare, either, and Taako’s used to dealing with them.

It used to be that he’d wake up screaming and grasp for Lup in the dark, cling to her while she stroked his hair. Lup never had nightmares, even when they were little, but she’d always wake up to hold him and make him feel safe. She’d hum songs their aunt taught them, she’d tell him stupid jokes, she’d fix things. She could always fix things.

Now, though, they sleep in separate rooms. She isn’t inches away for him to reach for automatically. Besides, he’s practically an adult now. It’d be stupid for him to run to his big sister for help. He should be able to get over it by himself. And he _is_ , mostly. He crawls out from under his fluffy blankets and pulls on a pair of equally fluffy shorts, which he runs his hands over as he makes his way out of his room towards the kitchen. His eyes are on the ground as he moves, and he doesn’t see Kravitz walking a few steps ahead of him.

With the brisk pace he’s walking at, he crashes into Kravitz.

“Fuck,” Taako yelps quietly, looking up with wide, panicky eyes at the same time as Kravitz apologizes, his voice thick with sleep.

“Taako?” Kravitz asks, turning around and rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you. Uh, hear you.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Taako says. His voice is strained. “What are you doing.”

“I-- I needed a glass of water,” Kravitz replies. His brow furrows and he squints down at Taako. “Are you… okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says sharply. He tries to step around Kravitz, but there’s not much room in the hallway, so he bumps into an end table and swears.

“Taako,” Kravitz says. He sounds less asleep now and flattens himself to the wall so Taako can get by. “What’s wrong?”

Taako hurries past, looking at the ground again, his ears flattened back against his skull. “Nothing,” he says. Kravitz follows him and watches as Taako sinks into a bar stool at the kitchen island. Taako ignores it for as long as he can, but that proves to only be a few seconds before he looks up and snaps “what?”

Kravitz frowns and moves to the other side of the island. “Um… can I. Where are the cups?”

Taako points at one of the cabinets, then rests his elbows on the counter and presses his forehead into his palms. He’s shaking. He doesn’t want to be shaking, not at all, and especially not in front of Kravitz, who pulls down a cup and fills it up, glancing at Taako over his shoulder as he does.

There’s quiet for some time -- Taako doesn’t count -- that’s broken only by the sound of Taako’s breathing, which much to his chagrin is uneven and heavy. He doesn’t look up, doesn’t move his face out of his hands. “Taako?” Kravitz asks softly, and the sound of his glass setting down on the island is too loud, too much, too everything. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Taako says, but his voice breaks hard, and then he’s crying. Quiet, strangled sobs creep out of him, and Kravitz moves to his side of the counter, stammering attempts at comfort.

“What-- what-- what happened?” he asks, and Taako can practically feel his hands hovering over his back, unsure if he should touch or not. Taako shifts, folding his arms on the counter and burying his face in the crook of his elbow. “Taako, I don’t-- what’s wrong?”

“Stupid,” Taako croaks out. “Just a dumb nightmare. It’s fine. Shut up.”

Hesitantly, Kravitz rests a hand on Taako’s shoulder. “It’s not fine,” he says quietly. “It’s… it’s very obviously not fine.”

“Just a stupid…” Taako starts, but he trails off, choked by another sob. “I’ll just-- I’m just gonna go back to bed,” he says, hurriedly trying to get up, knocking Kravitz’s hand away in the progress.

“Taako,” Kravitz says seriously. “What can I do to help you?” He doesn’t make a move to touch Taako again, nor does he stand in Taako’s way, but his voice makes Taako pause.

Taako looks up. Kravitz is staring down at him, and his eyes are intense -- concerned. His brow is still furrowed. Taako wipes his nose on the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “It _was_ just a stupid nightmare,” he insists, but he doesn’t move towards the hallway and his room.

“Can I touch you?” Kravitz asks softly. Taako nods after considering it for a moment and Kravitz steps forward. He wraps his arm around Taako’s shoulders and holds him gently. Taako lets out a shudder breath and hesitantly wraps his arms around Kravitz’s waist in response, pressing himself closer, squeezing his eyes shut. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Taako mumbles. “Yes. I don’t know.”

“Okay. That’s okay.” One of Kravitz’s hands moves from Taako’s shoulder to his hair, gently smoothing it down, which makes him shiver. “Do you want me to stop that?”

Taako shakes his head. Kravitz nods and keeps stroking. “Did you come in here for something? Do you want some water?” Taako shakes his head again and sniffles. The contact is helping, slowing his breathing from its frantic pace.

“Just-- just hold me,” Taako says weakly. “Tighter.”

Kravitz squeezes.

They stay like that for several minutes -- Taako doesn’t keep track -- with Kravitz slowly moving his hand through Taako’s wavy hair. Taako pulls away first. He doesn’t look up, but he reaches for Kravitz’s hand and intertwines their fingers. He says nothing, but tugs gently, and Kravitz follows. They pass the guest bedroom and make their way into Taako’s room, where Taako collapses face-first onto his mattress. He lets go of Kravitz’s hand, but when he doesn’t hear Kravitz making to leave, he pats the space next to him. Kravitz sits, looking around the room, which is a mess of soft fabrics and scattered books. Taako rolls onto his back with some effort, tangling himself in his blanket. He runs his hands over his face. He’s still crying, but quietly now.

“Your room is…”

“A mess,” Taako finishes in a mumble. “I know.”

“Comfortable,” Kravitz says. “Your blankets are nice.”

“Yeah.” He squirms, trying to untangle his legs from the blanket and then pulling it up towards himself. He buries his face in the fibers. “Soft things help me calm down.”

“Does this happen a lot?”

“No. Yes. Sometimes.” Taako sniffles again and pulls the blanket off of his face, though he keeps it up to his chin. “Can you just…” he trails off and reaches for Kravitz, tugging for the sleeve of the sweatshirt he borrowed to sleep in. Kravitz takes the hint and lays down next to him, although he’s stiff, clearly nervous. Taako scoots closer, intertwines their fingers again. “Thanks,” he whispers, barely audible.

“Of course,” Kravitz says, squeezing Taako’s hand. “I wish there was something more I could do.”

“This is good.”

“Okay.”

Kravitz relaxes slowly. Taako can feel it, the way the boy next to him eases up and shifts to be more comfortable. He’s hyper-aware of his surroundings -- the crickets chirping outside, the creaking of the mattress as Kravitz moves. It’s a holdover from his childhood. _Hypervigilance_ , his therapist had called it when he and Lup had just arrived here and were adjusting. “It was a dumb dream,” he says again.

“It upset you,” Kravitz says softly. “That’s not dumb.”

“Don’t baby me.” He shifts and pulls Kravitz’s arm around him. Again, Kravitz squeezes.

“I’m not.”

Taako presses his cheek to Kravitz’s chest and closes his eyes, trying to focus on the pressure of Kravitz’s arm around him and the softness of his blanket. “It was about when me and Lup were kids,” he mumbles. Kravitz trails his fingers along Taako’s shoulder. He says nothing. “We lived with an aunt for a while. And she was… good. She taught us how to cook. Started to, anyway. I still use her brownie recipe. I memorized it.”

Kravitz nods. “It’s a good recipe.”

“Yeah. We were with her for… almost a year.” He pauses.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Taako says. His voice breaks again. “She didn’t come home.”

“I’m so sorry,” Kravitz says, barely a murmur against the tip of Taako’s ear. He wraps his other arm around Taako. Taako hiccups.

“We waited for two days. But then, I mean, what were we gonna do? We had to-- we had to go. We couldn’t… keep doing that. Getting given away.”

“How old were you?”

“I don’t know. Seven or eight. I forget.” Taako wipes at his eyes. “My memory’s shit. I don’t remember a lot of stuff. The dream was just. I don’t know. Stuff from after that.”

“I’m sorry,” Kravitz says again. He rubs small circles on Taako’s shoulder with his thumb.

“Nah,” Taako says. “It’s whatever. That’s just life.”

Kravitz shifts beneath him, pulling him closer and tangling his fingers in Taako’s hair. He holds Taako gently, not like something fragile, but like something precious. Taako’s breath catches in his throat. He doesn’t want to cry more, but he feels like he might, if Kravitz keeps this up. He presses his face into Kravitz, taking shuddery breaths against the softness of the loaned t-shirt. He feels it as a vibration when Kravitz starts to hum quietly, a song Taako doesn’t quite recognize, but it’s soothing all the same.

Taako falls asleep first, exhausted and drained by his panic. When he wakes up again at six in the morning, Kravitz is snoring gently beneath him. Merle won’t let him live this down if they stay here like this, but Taako’s too tired to care. He closes his eyes and forces himself to breathe in time with Kravitz, slow and steady, until he drifts back into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!! if you enjoyed, please consider leaving a kudos or a comment -- validation fuels me more than i'd like to admit! and consider stopping by my tumblr, [@softshelltaakos,](softshelltaakos.tumblr.com) where i love talking about taz and take ficlet requests. n__n


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the day comes and goes with Sloane and Angus grilling Kravitz over lunch, demanding to know everything that happened. He’s too giddy to answer much. Between Taako and the fact that this week is the last week of school before winter break -- his _last_ winter break at Rockport High -- Kravitz doesn’t think anything could bring him down.

Kravitz is worried after spending the night at Taako’s that Taako is going to ghost him. It’s not an entirely unfounded fear; after all, when the elf showed a little bit of vulnerability at Kravitz’s house, he didn’t speak to him for nearly a week. He leaves the Highchurch residence with his heart pounding.

He has a text from Taako before he even gets home and is _immensely_ glad that no one is out walking their dogs, because he pumps his fist in the air and jumps a little bit. He’s thrilled. He’s certain nothing can break his stride. He feels a little bit guilty about it, all things considered, because Taako definitely didn’t have a good night -- well, at least after he went to bed, dinner itself was great -- and really neither did Kravitz, but every time Taako shows a little bit of vulnerability Kravitz counts it as a win.

_oh my GOD merle took a pic of us sleeping look how bad it is_  
_im smashing his phone so u better save this while u can bc it is GONE in 10 mintues_  
_*minutes_

_Maybe don’t smash the phone? But thank you for showing me, haha._

If he makes the photo his phone background, that’s his business.

He gets home and walks straight past Angus’s questions to fall face-down into his bed, burying his face in a pillow to cover up his giddy laughter. His phone vibrates again and he checks it eagerly. It’s Barry texting the Three Coffins groupchat.

_Sooooo sounds like it went well._

_I have no idea what you mean._

_Lup said you slept over?_

_I have NO idea what you mean._

Kravitz grins and sets his phone down on his desk.

The rest of the day comes and goes with Sloane and Angus grilling Kravitz over lunch, demanding to know everything that happened. He’s too giddy to answer much. Between Taako and the fact that this week is the last week of school before winter break -- his _last_ winter break at Rockport High -- Kravitz doesn’t think anything could bring him down.

Even when Sloane steals his phone and Angus cracks his password (his own fault for mentioning that they took a photo together, really,) he just grins as they tease him. Mostly Sloane. Teasing isn’t Angus’s strong suit.

* * *

Barry texts the groupchat on Sunday.

_Hey, so were we gonna meet up today?_

Kravitz had forgotten that he’d proposed they have band practice today to make up for missing it on Friday. His stomach sinks a little with guilt as he thinks about that, but they don’t need to know it slipped his mind.

_I’m down!_

_Great. You in, Johann?_

Kravitz waits.

Usually, Johann texts back in thirty seconds flat. He always has his phone on him and it’s usually out unless he’s practicing one of his various instruments or writing. It occurs to Kravitz that he didn’t reply at all yesterday, and suddenly he’s sick with worry. It gets worse with every minute Johann doesn’t reply.

After twenty minutes, he texts Barry -- just Barry.

_Do you think he’s okay?_

_I dunno. He seemed pretty pissed on Friday._

Fuck. He _did_ seem pissed. Kravitz _forgot_ about that _._

That’s not great.

He’s anxious the rest of the day, trying to figure out what to do. He doesn’t entirely understand why Johann is mad -- because of one practice? Johann can be moody, but he isn’t usually _unreasonable,_ Kravitz doesn’t think, and that seems unreasonable.

He doesn’t know what to do.

* * *

When Kravitz walks into the lunch room the next day, he keeps his eyes out for Johann and is alarmed to see that he isn’t sitting at their usual table. He’s always the first one there. Kravitz stands almost motionless at the entrance to the room, scanning it for his friends. Barry startles him by walking up behind him.

“Hey, why are you just standin’ here?”

“I was looking for Johann.”

“Oh,” Barry says, looking towards their usual table. “Huh.”

“Yeah. Oh, fucking hell, there he is.”

They make their way to Johann, who’s sitting alone at one of the corner tables. He doesn’t look up when they approach or otherwise acknowledge their presence.

“Hey,” Kravitz says uneasily.

“Hi,” Barry adds.

“What do _you two_ want?” Johann asks bitterly. He still doesn’t look at them. He jabs aimlessly at a wilting salad with his fork.

“Uh,” Barry says.

“Uh,” Kravitz says, too.

“Don’t you have better people to sit with?”

Kravitz and Barry look at each other, both obviously confused and looking for help from the other, both not knowing what to say. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Barry asks hesitantly.

Johann stands up and turns to them. He looks like shit. The ever-present bags under his eyes are bigger and darker than usual. The eyes themselves are bloodshot. His mop of curly hair is a mess. “Your cool new friends,” he says, still bitter, now with a tone that says he might start crying at any moment. Kravitz’s stomach drops to see him like this.

“What?” he asks. His mouth feels dry.

“You’re spending all your fucking time with the Highchurches and their cool friends. I just kinda figured you were _done with me_.” Johann nearly spits when he speaks, his hands balled into fists at his side.

“ _What?_ What are you talking about?” Barry repeats. Johann lets out a quiet, humorless huff of a laugh.

“Just go eat with them. I’m _fine_ alone.”

“Johann--”

“I said I’m _fine._ ”

“But you’re not,” Kravitz insists. He’s gripping his lunch tray hard and glances at Barry for help. Still, neither of them know what to do.

“It doesn’t matter. We have, like, a semester left, anyway, and then you’ll never have to deal with me again.”

“ _Deal_ with you? What?” Barry asks. He sets his tray down next to Johann’s. Johann tries to push past the two of them, but Barry grabs his shoulder with a surprising amount of strength. He starts shaking, and Kravitz knows without seeing his face that he’s crying.

They’ve both seen Johann cry before. It’s no secret that he’s sad often, no secret that he has some problems with emotional regulation. The three of them have talked about it before, sat in sleeping bags in Barry’s basement, a flashlight casting light upwards at them. They all have their crosses to bear -- Barry’s immensely anxious, Kravitz struggles to understand people, Johann’s depressed. It’s something they’ve bonded over, the way their respective brains try to screw them over.

So they’ve seen him cry. But usually he isn’t crying because of them.

Kravitz feels horrible.

“You’re going to stupid parties and stupid basketball games,” Johann chokes out. “Like you fucking care about them. _Without_ me. Like you _don’t_ fucking care about _me_.”

He shakes Barry’s hand off of his shoulder and storms off.

Barry sinks into one of the shitty plastic chairs and exhales. “Well, fuck,” he says after a long beat of silence.

“You got that right,” Kravitz agrees, still standing uselessly by the side of the table.

He looks across the lunch room and sees Taako watching him. He can make out that Taako’s eyebrow is raised in what almost looks like concern. He picks up his phone and shortly thereafter Kravitz’s phone buzzes in his pocket, but he doesn’t check it. He sits down next to Barry and sets his tray on the table. “We gotta fix this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THAT IT'S TAKEN ME SO LONG TO UPDATE THIS DANG FIC, i've had a rough summer and not a lot of muse, but hopefully i'll be back to updating... you know, sporadically, but relatively often. i really appreciate y'all's patience with me. i know this chapter was uhhhh Light on the taakitz, but i've been waiting to get to this since i started writing this dang thing, so thank u for reading anyway >:3
> 
> here's a shout-out: tumblr user hungwyy drew [this incredible piece](https://softshelltaakos.tumblr.com/post/176755236105/hungwyy-ooofggghhh-i-just-wanted-to-draw-a-scene) of The Lads from the last chapter! you're a legend mars i appreciate it
> 
> aaaand that's about all i have to say!!! again, thank you for your patience, and thank you so much for reading! if you wanna chat, please hit me up [on tumblr](softshelltaakos.tumblr.com), where i take ficlet requests and cry about lucretia every day. if you like my writing, consider leaving a comment! that kind of stuff fuels me. i crave validation. ok bye i love u


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He expects a reply quickly -- Kravitz usually replies within a few minutes, save for once or twice when Taako’s fucked up sleep schedule has left him awake at times when no reasonable person should be. But now he’s looking away, ignoring the text. With Kravitz as distracted as he is, Taako just stares in his direction, willing him to pull out his phone.
> 
> He doesn’t.

Taako watches Kravitz and Barry across the lunch room. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but Goth Nerd #3 (Johann?) just stormed out of the room and the other two don’t exactly look happy. He nudges Lup and nods towards them, making her furrow her brow.

“Doesn’t look great,” she says warily.

“Yeah,” Taako agrees. Ren looks up too on his other side, but he shoots her a look. “Don’t fuckin’ everybody stare at them, that’s sus as hell.”

She rolls her eyes. “What do you think happened?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Taako scowls. He picks up his phone to text Kravitz when their eyes meet briefly:

_hey uh is everything good over there bone boy?_

He expects a reply quickly -- Kravitz usually replies within a few minutes, save for once or twice when Taako’s fucked up sleep schedule has left him awake at times when no reasonable person should be. But now he’s looking away, ignoring the text. With Kravitz as distracted as he is, Taako just stares in his direction, willing him to pull out his phone.

He doesn’t.

In fact, he and Barry leave the lunch room shortly after he sends it, and Taako’s heart seizes up. Everything was fine on Saturday. Why isn’t it fine now? He looks down at the tray in front of him, at the shitty, underwhelming food there and pushes it away slightly. Lup glances at him.

“Taako. Babe. You okay?” she asks, nudging him lightly with her arm. He looks up again, smiling entirely too broadly. There’s something almost manic about the expression, but he only shrugs as lazily as he can manage.

“Yeah,” he says. “Just zoned out. What were you saying, Ren?”

It’s clear that neither of them are buying it, given the way Lup’s brow is still furrowed and Ren’s eyebrow is raised. He doesn’t let up, though. Instead he clears his throat and stands up. “I’m not really that hungry,” he says, and excuses himself from the lunch table to go throw the rest of his shitty fries away. He marches out of the lunch room trying to ignore the anxiety in his gut that seems to grow with every minute Kravitz doesn’t text back. He can feel Lup and Ren watch him leave.

Taako pushes past the doors into the school’s courtyard. He left his coat in his locker, but he’s wearing a thick enough sweater that the cold doesn’t bother him much. Granted, it might have something to do with the way his mind is racing to the worst possible conclusions. Kravitz didn’t text him yesterday, not once. Now he’s visibly ignoring a text. He tries to reassure himself that it’s just because his friend’s being weird, but it’s hard to do. He keeps coming back to Friday night. He must have done something wrong. He shouldn’t have talked to Kravitz about his nightmares. He shouldn’t have made him hold him. Now Kravitz knows he’s crazy and stupid and damaged and he wants nothing to do with him.

He’s crying. His tears freeze on his cheeks.

The doors behind him open and he turns around quickly, red-cheeked and still crying, although he immediately wipes at his eyes with his sleeves to hide that as well as he can. Lup walks out with his coat slung over her arm.

“I said I’m _fine_ ,” he tries to snap, but it comes out soft and wet. Lup strides over to him and wraps him in a tight hug, thumb moving in circles on his back. “I’m fine.”

Lup doesn’t say anything. He breaks down and wraps his arms back around her, clinging tight. She lets him stay there for a few moments before slowly pulling away and looking at him with concern in her eyes. “You forgot your coat,” she says.

“Whatever.”

“Taako.”

“Not like we haven’t been— been in colder places than this with less fuckin’—”

“But we’re not there now,” she cuts him off. Her voice is a mix of stern and soothing. “Put the damn coat on.”

He does. “Where’s Ren?”

“Still in the caf. You have Home Ec next, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. She’s gonna bring your stuff in there when lunch is over and let Rick know you’re gonna be late. Okay?”

Taako nods. He’s trying to focus on his breathing and he pulls his coat tight around him, seeking pressure, something grounding. Lup puts her hands on his shoulders and presses. Neither of them say anything for a minute or two, during which he manages to stop crying. His breathing remains shaky.

“Babe?” Lup says. “Taako, look me in the eye for a sec.”

“No, I—”

“Taako.”

He looks up. Neither of them are good at eye contact. It makes them uncomfortable and tense. But Lup gets serious sometimes, she wants to make an impression on him. They manage for a second, during which she speaks quickly, visibly nervous about his response: “Have you been taking your meds?”

Taako looks away.

She pulls him close again.

“I’m doing better,” he says quietly. “I’m doing good.”

“You’re not,” she says. “You’re _not,_ Koko, you’re all over the place.”

“I’m not all over the place.”

“You invited two strangers to a party, you flipped out on Dav and Merle and _me_ and then went to a guy you barely know’s house, then you stopped talking to him, then you invited—”

“Fine, I’m all over the place,” he says, voice raising slightly. She winces at the sound but doesn’t pull away. He speaks more quietly. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I just… I _was_ doing good.”

“You gotta take your fuckin’ medicine, Taako.”

“I know.”

“I know you do. Dingus.” She pulls away again. “You wanna ditch? Ren can bring your stuff home.”

He nods. It’s their last day of classes before finals start. It’s not like _Rick_ will have them doing anything interesting, anyway. Lup intertwines her fingers with his and they start walking. The school cop isn’t at his post, so the two of them make their way off of campus easily. It’s snowy enough that no one is out on the town, so they have the streets largely to themselves. They walk silently, hand-in-hand, and it feels bizarre. They don’t do this much anymore, just walk through streets, certainly not when the weather's like this, but there was a time that this was all they did.

They stop outside a bakery to look at the window display. “Those are some pretty fuckin’ macarons,” Taako says, though without much conviction.

“Yeah,” Lup agrees. “Yours are prettier, though.”

“You’re just trying to butter me up.”

“Yeah. Come on, let’s go inside, my ass is freezing off.” She steps forward to open the door for them and the two of them go inside, Taako making a beeline for the counter to stare at the goods. The shopkeep is lucky they’re behind glass, because as they’re nowhere to be seen, Taako’s fingers are itchy.

He’s not about to climb over a counter, though.

“So are you gonna tell me what had you freaked out?” Lup asks absently, admiring the decor. It’s interesting, multicolored crystals hung from various places, as well as dried herbs and a few paintings.

“I’m an idiot,” Taako says, rolling his eyes. “I’m just--”

“Hello!” Taako is cut off as an old woman with coarse gray hair piled in a bun on top of her head steps out from the back, hands clasped together. She is, without a doubt, the oldest woman Taako has ever seen. Her voice is lightly accented and lyrical. “What can I get you kids, hm?”

Taako becomes intensely concerned that his face shows he’s been crying. Lup takes the lead. “Hey, yeah, uh, how much are these macarons?”

“Three copper per cookie,” the woman chirps in reply. “But I’ll give them to you for two each if you tell me why you aren’t in school.”

“Three copper each,” Taako says bluntly. She chuckles, apparently not offended.

“Okay, suit yourself. What flavors?”

“I want one of these cinnamon ones,” Lup says. “And he wants raspberry.”

He wants to protest, but she’s right. The old woman busies herself pulling the requested cookies out and dropping them into a thin paper bag, but before she hands it over or takes their money she fills two to-go mugs with hot chocolate from a kettle. Taako eyes her suspiciously. “It’s too cold out there,” she says simply before holding her hand out to Lup for coin.

“Hey, thanks,” she says good-naturedly as she pays.

“No problem.”

“What’s your name?”

“Paloma.”

“You bake all this?”

“Yep.”

“Good shit.”

“Thank you very much,” she titters as she passes the bag and the cups across the counter. She has to stand on a stool to reach. “You two have a good day. You feel better!”

She directs the last at Taako, whose cheeks heat up unpleasantly. He pulls his hood over his head and grumbles a “yeah, thanks” before the twins make their way out of the shop. Lup hands him one of the drinks and takes a sip of hers.

“Shit, that’s good,” she says. She tucks the bag into the excessively sized pockets of her coat and slips her hand into Taako’s again. “You wanna head home? I think the dads are out today.”

“Yeah, fuck, I could do with some actual heat.” The temporary reprieve has made the return to the cold worse. They hurry, then, sipping their hot chocolates and talking about nothing -- Lup clearly doesn’t want to press him further for fear of making him uncomfortable. He doesn’t mind that.

And besides, he’ll tell her eventually. He always does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! as always, thank you for reading!!! this chapter is what the kids call "projecting" and also "very close to my heart." taako, huh?
> 
> here's another shoutout -- tumblr user ultrasopp did [these beautiful dinguses](https://softshelltaakos.tumblr.com/post/177035304280/ultrasopp-drew-some-stuff-for) whom i am IN LOVE WITH, thank you noah!!! fat taako is so important to me you did my boy so good
> 
> anyway, if you're enjoying please consider leading a kudos and a comment! validation keeps me writing. also feel free to hit me up on tumblr [@softshelltaakos](https://softshelltaakos.tumblr.com), where i am crying about taz 100% of the time.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!! if you liked it, please consider leaving a kudos and a comment!!! they really keep me going.
> 
> also feel free to check out my tumblr [@softshelltaakos,](https://softshelltaakos.tumblr.com/) where i take ficlet requests and am always down to talk taz!


End file.
